Friday, May 31, 2013

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 9/10/11...The Pants Less Wonder!

Lessons I've yet to learn: If I am going to be working at night and/or a lot, I should probably blog before I leave.  Unfortunately, I have yet to learn that here I am...again...a few days late because I am still trying to learn to balance this and life.  Alas!

The last few days have been pretty mild...just a lot of work.  Today, however I have a small enough break to write a quick post and see some friends.  What is this?!

I mention work so much in this post was just a day.  Not bad, just a definite Caitlin yes.  Awkward, to say the least. 

I was super proud of myself, because I got out of the door on time, and immediately caught a train.  I got to work, and was set and ready to conquer the day.  It wasn't until I was meant to change out of my street clothes, and into my uniform that horror struck.  Being OCD, I was certain I had triple checked that I had all my necessary pieces before I left the house.  So, where were they?!  Shirt? Check.  Apron? Check.  Socks/Shoes?  Double check.  I'm missing something...but what?!  Ohhhhhhhhh....right.  Pants.

There I am, standing half dressed in my workplace bathroom.  Someone has stolen my pants, clearly.  I would never forget them! Except....I did. I quickly change back into my romper, that while being black, was not quite the appropriate attire I was required to wear.  Actually, it was a fraction of the amount of fabric I'm required to wear.  I guess in my haggard state, my boss felt bad enough to let me go to the H&M down the block.  I grab a pair of pants and am back in less than 10 minutes.  Luckily, I grabbed a pair of pants that I'm pretty sure my grandmother wore when she was waiting tables as the 60's.  Sex.  Pure sex.  That should be my nickname. 

From there, the day has gotten better.  I get to play a little bit, and I couldn't be happier.  For now, I'm off to said play date....but I leave you with this:

Actual conversation.  My friends are brilliant.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 8...Karma Chameleon

A few weeks ago, I was fed some false information.  Seeing as I'm not a very gullible person, except when I often am, it is rare that I fell for such deceit.  In my own defense, I was informed of this falsehood by two different people.  There are two simple explanations for this: 1) Both of these people are part of a greater plot to confuse me.  or 2) There is a plot even larger than the three of us, in which unsuspecting New Yorkers are tricked into believing a web of misinformation.  The jury is still out as to which it could be...and by jury, I obviously mean the Justice League.  I know I'm forgetting something....but what could it be???  Oh!  Right!  The lie. 

I don't want to spread any deceit, so I am sharing this so you won't be fooled like me.  In my year of living in New York, I have gone through several dozen umbrellas.  I wish I were exaggerating.  They break almost instantaneously, and if I do succeed to make it through the day with the same one, I will inadvertently forget it in a public place.  Leaving me, yet again, umbrella-less.

A perfect example of my feelings in that moment.
I was falsely informed that umbrellas are communal in New York.  I was told that if someone forgets an umbrella somewhere, we all know they won't come back for it, so it is free to take....because when you leave one, someone else will do the same.  LIES, LIES, LIES!!!  

Seeing as it has been raining steadily for the past week, and I had just left my brand new umbrella in an unknown place, I finally gave in and took one that had been abandoned.  BIG MISTAKE!  I guess I should have known better than to "technically" steal, because the moment I opened that communal umbrella, karma decided to unleash its fury.  Long story short...the umbrella broke, and one of the metal prongs attempted to cut off my finger.  Okay....that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but I am pretty sure I now have tetanus, and will have lock jaw in a few short hours.  

Rude.  Just rude.

The point of this post: TRUST NO ONE!  Maybe that sounds a little ridiculous, but trust me....I know I just said trust no one...but you can totally trust me. It is for your own good.  Protect yourself and just spend $5 on those umbrellas being sold on the street.  You will loose far fewer fingers due to gangrene induced amputations.  

You've been warned.

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 7...Not so Memorable Day

Today was pretty calm.  Just a workout, work, and a night full of laughter with friends.  I am, however, very I leave you with this....

Wait....General Who???  Ohhhhh.....That's the point.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 5 and 6....Two-For-One

Things I didn't realize when I challenged myself to write everyday: It is actually a challenge.  Weird.  I originally just called it a challenge so it would sound a little cooler.  That clearly worked.  The beautiful part is, since I created this challenge, I make the rules.  Soooooooo, today we will be having a very rare two-for-one special.

Day 5
Day 5 was pretty awesome.  I actually don't have a reason for not getting something posted, since it was technically my day off, except I spent the majority of the day playing with my friends.  The day flew past in a haze of inappropriate jokes and adult beverages.  I'm not gonna bore you with the intimate details, but it included happy hour, a costume change, and eventual ridiculous dancing well into the wee hours of the morning.  Which made getting up for work on Day 6 (a.k.a. today) a tad difficult, but that's the point of being young....apparently.  I apologize for any and all foul looks I gave to the strangers who might have crossed my path. I don't blame you, I blame.....ummmm....well maybe it is just better not to place blame?

Day 6
In the spirit of it being Memorial Day weekend, I find it to be the perfect time to share something that pretty much sums up a holiday in my homeland.  Growing up in the sticks,* a summer holiday usually included barbeque, some body of water (and by body of water I clearly mean lake or river...since we were landlocked.  Please try to keep up.), and a sunburn.  As we got older, these holidays also began including beer...which inadvertently made them much more fun and our sunburns MUCH worse.  Maybe it is because I haven't been home in over six months, or maybe it is knowing that my family is spending it together, but I have found myself sorta missing all of that country stuff today.  Wooooooooooow......that was almost full of feeling.  I obviously need to get more than a few hours of sleep, or I go all sorts of crazy and start feeling things.  The point is, this video is brilliant, and sums up life in a small town.  So watch it...and giggle.  I know I did/do/always will.

*For all those NOT from the sticks, or as we would call them "city folk," this simply means I come from a small rural town.  I also grew up well outside of the city limits of that said town....a.k.a. the country.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 4....Let's Play Pretend

I knoooooooow!  It is after midnight, therefore it is now day 5, NOT I have failed at my goal in less than a week.  HOWEVER, I think it should still count as day 4 because I so kindly agreed to close at work tonight so a coworker could go to a party.  In return, I didn't make it home until after the clock had struck midnight.  Maybe we can all pretend that for tonight this is The Awkward Adventures of a Great Rocky Mountaineer?  Then, it is still before midnight, AND it just sounds cool.  It sounds like I survived a horrifying avalanche....and wasn't found for weeks....when I had already had to eat my own hand to survive.  Wait.  That sounds awful.  Let's just pretend I'm a normal girl, who worked late.  Deal? Deal.

Sooooooo....I had written a really cute go with a really cute YouTube video.  However, since it is currently 1:34 am (precisely), my computer obviously decided not to link my ultra cute YouTube video to this rather cute post.  Since I am always extremely patient, I may have said something like this:

Yep.  Right on time.
I guess it is bedtime for bunnies, before this little bunny goes batshit over a YouTube video.  I can just see tomorrow's headlines:  "Young Women Throws Extremely Crappy Laptop from 1st Floor Apartment....Computer Not Injured." I'm not going to be the next Amanda Bynes, arrested for launching bongs from my apartment, but I guess we can't win them all.  As for you, I guess you will have to wait in anticipation for my ultra cute post.  I, however, will be busy attempting to learn this:

My prescription must me out.


Thursday, May 23, 2013

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 3...Thank You, Netflix

As I've written a million times before, I really like Netflix.  I consider it to be the best investment I've made....okay, minus getting a college education.  Other than that, I sincerely think that without Netflix my life would be really sad.  Wait....maybe it is because of Netflix my life is really sad? of life's unsolved mysteries. 

I digress, the point is I just really love Netflix because it houses so many wonderful movies and television shows that I would never be lucky enough to know exist.  Take this beautiful gem for example: 

Thanks, Netflix. 

Just so you don't miss out on the full effect of how beautiful this really is, here is the description:
Aannnnnd the Academy Award for Best Movie Ever Made Ever goes to.....
Part of me feels like I keep my subscription JUST so I am introduced to these wonderful works of art.  The amount of joy I got from this particular one may be a little sad....actually, I'm almost certain it was a little sad.  I have to admit, I'm was tempted to watch this beautiful film just to see if I could laugh some more....but then I remembered I really don't like horror films, soooo it is probably better that I just stay away this time.

Okay.  Enough making fun of that poor ghost cat, time to get back to watching the serious contents of my instant Maid in Manhattan (for the 10,000th time).  If you have any other hidden gems, I would LOVE to hear about them.  I'm always up for a good laugh.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A Year in This Awkward Life: Day 2....Never Say Never

This may come as a surprise, but I really seem to prefer when things are definite.  I know!  Crazy, right?!  I don't like being out of control, I don't like the uncertain, to the point where I prefer to use phrases when speaking that lend themselves to destroying an infinite amount of possibilities.  Honestly, I'm also a teeny-tiny bit dramatic (again, surprise!), so I may have a tendency to exaggerate...a bit.....rarely (a.k.a. often).  This, combined with a somewhat innate need to feel as though I'm following all the rules, which I will inevitably break, create a ridiculously inappropriate minefield of situations.

The phrase I use most often is, without a doubt, "NEVER would I ever!"  You can pretty much bet, if I say that about anything, I will proceed to do that said item in approximately 48 hours.*  Why??  Maybe somewhere deep in my psyche....You know what?  I dunno why!  I'm not Freud.  Actually, now I may become some modern day reincarnation of him since I said I wasn't.  Crap....this could get really messy.

I can already see the resemblance.
It's gotten to the point that when I start to say that beautiful little phrase, my friends quickly cut me off "before I get myself into trouble."  I don't know why making something off limits makes it that much more appealing.  Perhaps I was a Puritan in a prior life, so like, EVERYTHING was off limits.....and now I just can't stop myself.  I'm sure that's it.  I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that breaking rules, even when self implemented, is just a lot of fun.  Take right now for example,  I said I would never write this blog if I had been drinking.  OBVIOUSLY that one was completely ridiculous when I decided to challenge myself to write every day for a year.  Also, it's me....I clearly have a glass of wine** on my table right now....which is why this post is so moving.

In all actuality, I'm convinced it is just the universe trying to play a trick on me.  I say I won't do something, and fully convince myself I won't because this time will be different.  However, the universe, being a vindictive slut, quickly responds with this:

You would think I would learn not to say it, but where would the fun in life be if I was always responsible?  Where would this blog be?  I would probably be a fully functioning extrovert with a real job.  Wait.....let's be honest....NEVER would I ever.

*Okay.  So maybe not exactly 48, but quickly....that's the point.
 **BUT it is family appropriate wine.  I'm drinking it from the wine glass a friend got me at Disney World.  So there.  CLASSY! 

I don't understand...